July 04, 2004
so much for independence day
Part of how I've been getting through this summer was the hope of getting an apartment and spending next summer in Avalon, getting a job and living up there.
That hope was squashed tonight at dinner, because it would apparently be too expensive for me to get an apartment. Part of the reason I'm still in the dorms is because part of my scholarship goes toward housing. I was holding out the feeble hope that without having to do the meal plan and with a roommate or two, it would actually be cheaper to do the apartment thing. Nope, my dad refuses to admit the possibility.
That means that I'm going to have to spend next summer with my family, too.
And I hate it. I liked being on my own and setting my own hours, instead of living with a bunch of other people who yell and shriek in the morning, but get mad if my music is on too loud at night.
Plus, my mom wanting to know every time I leave the house, where I'm going, with who, for how long, and what I've bought when I get back, and giving me the Look whenever I'm anywhere with someone she considers a "bad influence," which is something like half my friends now.
Despite the fact that I'm almost twenty years old and am perfectly capable of cleaning myself, she still feels the need to lick her thumb and try to clean my face IN PUBLIC, and doesn't seem to think this is belittling in any way and is SURPRISED that this would annoy me. Good grief, you do that to two-year-olds, not near-adults!
Plus, the latest on the Gay Front, crossposted from a forum on which I was bitching about it:
Apparently my mom now interprets something I said off-handedly as a disavowal of being gay.
I was talking about going off my meds, and after the conversation had ended I went back to my room and started reading. When Mom came after me and tried to continue the conversation, I made the comment that "you're still worried about something that I've stopped thinking about,' referring to the previous conversation.
Somehow she took this to mean that I'd stopped thinking I'm a lesbian. (Which... I haven't.) And she just said to me that my saying so was an answer to her prayers for the past YEAR and it's made her happier than ever.
So to clear up the misunderstanding would mean a repeat of last summer's events, and to just leave it be and let her be happy until I'm out of range (i.e. back at school) would mean lying, or at best omitting the truth (which amounts to the same thing, if I understand it correctly).
Someone kill me now.
And she wonders why I wouldn't want to go on a family vacation.
That hope was squashed tonight at dinner, because it would apparently be too expensive for me to get an apartment. Part of the reason I'm still in the dorms is because part of my scholarship goes toward housing. I was holding out the feeble hope that without having to do the meal plan and with a roommate or two, it would actually be cheaper to do the apartment thing. Nope, my dad refuses to admit the possibility.
That means that I'm going to have to spend next summer with my family, too.
And I hate it. I liked being on my own and setting my own hours, instead of living with a bunch of other people who yell and shriek in the morning, but get mad if my music is on too loud at night.
Plus, my mom wanting to know every time I leave the house, where I'm going, with who, for how long, and what I've bought when I get back, and giving me the Look whenever I'm anywhere with someone she considers a "bad influence," which is something like half my friends now.
Despite the fact that I'm almost twenty years old and am perfectly capable of cleaning myself, she still feels the need to lick her thumb and try to clean my face IN PUBLIC, and doesn't seem to think this is belittling in any way and is SURPRISED that this would annoy me. Good grief, you do that to two-year-olds, not near-adults!
Plus, the latest on the Gay Front, crossposted from a forum on which I was bitching about it:
Apparently my mom now interprets something I said off-handedly as a disavowal of being gay.
I was talking about going off my meds, and after the conversation had ended I went back to my room and started reading. When Mom came after me and tried to continue the conversation, I made the comment that "you're still worried about something that I've stopped thinking about,' referring to the previous conversation.
Somehow she took this to mean that I'd stopped thinking I'm a lesbian. (Which... I haven't.) And she just said to me that my saying so was an answer to her prayers for the past YEAR and it's made her happier than ever.
So to clear up the misunderstanding would mean a repeat of last summer's events, and to just leave it be and let her be happy until I'm out of range (i.e. back at school) would mean lying, or at best omitting the truth (which amounts to the same thing, if I understand it correctly).
Someone kill me now.
And she wonders why I wouldn't want to go on a family vacation.
Labels: family, school, Teh Gay
# posted by Liadan @ 7:43 AM 
