October 23, 2003
out
So I didn't exactly plan on being all closeted once I left for school. Obviously I was more than a little sick of hiding all the time and being halfway ashamed of who I am. I was going to be open and honest about being gay for once in my life.
That does not mean I want my entire sexual identity and history blared to anyone standing within a ten-mile radius.
Clarissa has a friend named Todd. Todd just so happens to be the most blatantly effeminate boy I've ever met. He's often assumed to be gay-- I thought he was, when I first met him. Jeff is, to put it mildly, dramatic. He's very loud, very flamboyant, and very talented at annoying people. I personally find him funny for about five minutes, and after that it's just purely obnoxious.
One way or another, Todd was informed that I'm a lesbian, and decided to annoy me by telling everyone he came across. And I mean everyone. I walked over with him to pick up a package, and he made it a point to say "lesbian" or "homosexual" loudly whenever we walked by someone. He finds it even funnier that I'm a virgin, and made a point to tell another one of Clarissa's friend's lesbian roommate about all this. If I read him correctly, he'll probably be encouraging her to seduce me. Good luck.
Strangely, everyone here seems to find it weirder that I don't plan on having sex before marriage (or lifelong partnership, for the semantic purists among us) than that I prefer women. A bit of a climate change from Eastchester, that's for sure.
When all is said and done, I'm a very private person about my sexuality. I've never pretended not to have a sex drive, and frankly I think the "don't let anyone know or you'll DROP DEAD OF EMBARRASSMENT!" subtext of most tampon commercials is just stupid. But when it comes to intimate details of my sexuality, well, I prefer to preserve the intimacy. It doesn't make me a prude, it just makes me a normal human being with boundaries.
Beyond that, and I hate to harp on the subject but oh well, the sexuality thing is an especially sensitive topic given the recent unpleasantness associated with it. The unfamiliar sensation of "being out" recalls the all-too-familiar sensation of being forcefully outed. I think it's understandable that I'd want to have control over who I tell and when, right?
I need some time to get used to the idea that I'm out, and I want it to be done on my terms, not for someone else's amusement.
That does not mean I want my entire sexual identity and history blared to anyone standing within a ten-mile radius.
Clarissa has a friend named Todd. Todd just so happens to be the most blatantly effeminate boy I've ever met. He's often assumed to be gay-- I thought he was, when I first met him. Jeff is, to put it mildly, dramatic. He's very loud, very flamboyant, and very talented at annoying people. I personally find him funny for about five minutes, and after that it's just purely obnoxious.
One way or another, Todd was informed that I'm a lesbian, and decided to annoy me by telling everyone he came across. And I mean everyone. I walked over with him to pick up a package, and he made it a point to say "lesbian" or "homosexual" loudly whenever we walked by someone. He finds it even funnier that I'm a virgin, and made a point to tell another one of Clarissa's friend's lesbian roommate about all this. If I read him correctly, he'll probably be encouraging her to seduce me. Good luck.
Strangely, everyone here seems to find it weirder that I don't plan on having sex before marriage (or lifelong partnership, for the semantic purists among us) than that I prefer women. A bit of a climate change from Eastchester, that's for sure.
When all is said and done, I'm a very private person about my sexuality. I've never pretended not to have a sex drive, and frankly I think the "don't let anyone know or you'll DROP DEAD OF EMBARRASSMENT!" subtext of most tampon commercials is just stupid. But when it comes to intimate details of my sexuality, well, I prefer to preserve the intimacy. It doesn't make me a prude, it just makes me a normal human being with boundaries.
Beyond that, and I hate to harp on the subject but oh well, the sexuality thing is an especially sensitive topic given the recent unpleasantness associated with it. The unfamiliar sensation of "being out" recalls the all-too-familiar sensation of being forcefully outed. I think it's understandable that I'd want to have control over who I tell and when, right?
I need some time to get used to the idea that I'm out, and I want it to be done on my terms, not for someone else's amusement.
Labels: friends, school, Teh Gay
# posted by Liadan @ 1:04 AM 
