February 12, 2003
sex, lies and postmodernism *
This topic has been mulling over in my head for several days now, and I have to put it down before I forget it. If all goes well, I'll be able to un-code it Saturday. I'm guessing that Dan will be itching to see what it is, since it seems to be right up his alley.
As those who have the passcode know, I'm bisexual, as I've really known since I was twelve but not identified since I was seventeen.
This is pretty obviously at odds with the whole Christianity bit. Orthodox Christianity has always called homosexual behavior sin. But the conclusion I've come to, and I'm not going into detail here because it would take a while, is that I believe God made me this way. To try to change myself would be whining to the potter. Ergo, for homo/bisexuality to be a sin in and of itself would be to basically say that God creates people to sin, or to say that God makes evil things. I fall with the group that says that that "gay Christian" is not an oxymoron.
I'm also living in a postmodern world which is screwing around with the basic idea of truth. There's more than one truth, truth is subjective, truth doesn't really exist, whatever flavor it comes in it's messing with the idea of what truth is. I tend to call myself postmodern because, well, I'm not very modern and I'm pretty disillusioned with the modern church as is. The new stuff coming out of the types that call themselves postmodern rings with a certain kind of truth, although I don't know if they'd take that as a compliment. Likely they'd try to deconstruct what makes me believe them... *snort*
But the few articles I've been able to find on gays in the postmodern church have been the same kind of foot-shuffling that I've seen from the regular churches. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Being gay is a sin, but be nice to the poor gay person. If you're lucky, the church will accept you as a gay person without forcing you to change, as long as you're celibate and don't make a fuss. This is stupid. With homosexuality, if you hate the sin, you are in effect hating the sinner as well. I can appreciate their desire to maintain their distance from culture, per se, but they must realize that this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
And it is grossly unfair, not to mention harmful to require all gays to be celibate regardless of whether or not they actually have the gift of celibacy. I know where most churches come to this position, trying to reconcile their interpretation of the Bible with what they very well should know now about homosexual psychology, but basically, this is compromise, and it doesn't make sense either. If someone does not have the gift of celibacy, then requiring them to stay celibate is harmful. Some gays and straights have the gift of celibacy, and well and good to them. The rest do not. So don't force the rest to shoulder a burden they can't hold.
This is what I see coming out of pomo churches-- the same kind of "well, we have to differentiate ourselves from the culture SOMEHOW, might as well do it here, mustn't be accused of being PC or anything" stuff. All the articles I've seen take the waffling position. The part that angers me the most is that they put forth this kind of "you can be gay, just don't do anything gay, and everyone else please be nice to the poor gay person" tripe -- and they they expect a pat on the back for being progressive. Progressive my ever-loving FOOT. That's not progress, that's just ecclesiastical hand-wringing. What, am I supposed to be thankful that they're not holding up "GOD HATES FAGS" signs and trying to stone me? And "GOD TOLERATES GAYS AS LONG AS THEY DON'T ACT GAY" signs and barely-maintained "tolerance without acceptance" are soooo much better, of course. *piff*
And from the gay Christian places I've been, I still find a modern leaning. They spend an incredible amount of time fighting for different interpretations of the Bible and Scriptural and traditional support for gay holy unions and et cetera. They're fighting a modernist battle. I've just about given up looking for definitive prooftexts, with all the word studies and cultural context studies and theological maundering and such that seems to be required to wrest the real meaning kicking and screaming out of the words, from either side.
And this brings me to the crux of the problem: coming out of the closet.
My motivation for coming out is to be telling the truth about myself. I'm tired of lying. But how do I tell the truth about myself when I can't seem to get a clear picture of what truth even is? If truth is subjective, and if there is no concrete truth, then what is lying? How do you conceal a truth whose very nature is debatable?
What am I supposed to do? Too gay for the pomos, too pomo for the gays, and still struggling to hold on to my faith in the crossfire.
As those who have the passcode know, I'm bisexual, as I've really known since I was twelve but not identified since I was seventeen.
This is pretty obviously at odds with the whole Christianity bit. Orthodox Christianity has always called homosexual behavior sin. But the conclusion I've come to, and I'm not going into detail here because it would take a while, is that I believe God made me this way. To try to change myself would be whining to the potter. Ergo, for homo/bisexuality to be a sin in and of itself would be to basically say that God creates people to sin, or to say that God makes evil things. I fall with the group that says that that "gay Christian" is not an oxymoron.
I'm also living in a postmodern world which is screwing around with the basic idea of truth. There's more than one truth, truth is subjective, truth doesn't really exist, whatever flavor it comes in it's messing with the idea of what truth is. I tend to call myself postmodern because, well, I'm not very modern and I'm pretty disillusioned with the modern church as is. The new stuff coming out of the types that call themselves postmodern rings with a certain kind of truth, although I don't know if they'd take that as a compliment. Likely they'd try to deconstruct what makes me believe them... *snort*
But the few articles I've been able to find on gays in the postmodern church have been the same kind of foot-shuffling that I've seen from the regular churches. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Being gay is a sin, but be nice to the poor gay person. If you're lucky, the church will accept you as a gay person without forcing you to change, as long as you're celibate and don't make a fuss. This is stupid. With homosexuality, if you hate the sin, you are in effect hating the sinner as well. I can appreciate their desire to maintain their distance from culture, per se, but they must realize that this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
And it is grossly unfair, not to mention harmful to require all gays to be celibate regardless of whether or not they actually have the gift of celibacy. I know where most churches come to this position, trying to reconcile their interpretation of the Bible with what they very well should know now about homosexual psychology, but basically, this is compromise, and it doesn't make sense either. If someone does not have the gift of celibacy, then requiring them to stay celibate is harmful. Some gays and straights have the gift of celibacy, and well and good to them. The rest do not. So don't force the rest to shoulder a burden they can't hold.
This is what I see coming out of pomo churches-- the same kind of "well, we have to differentiate ourselves from the culture SOMEHOW, might as well do it here, mustn't be accused of being PC or anything" stuff. All the articles I've seen take the waffling position. The part that angers me the most is that they put forth this kind of "you can be gay, just don't do anything gay, and everyone else please be nice to the poor gay person" tripe -- and they they expect a pat on the back for being progressive. Progressive my ever-loving FOOT. That's not progress, that's just ecclesiastical hand-wringing. What, am I supposed to be thankful that they're not holding up "GOD HATES FAGS" signs and trying to stone me? And "GOD TOLERATES GAYS AS LONG AS THEY DON'T ACT GAY" signs and barely-maintained "tolerance without acceptance" are soooo much better, of course. *piff*
And from the gay Christian places I've been, I still find a modern leaning. They spend an incredible amount of time fighting for different interpretations of the Bible and Scriptural and traditional support for gay holy unions and et cetera. They're fighting a modernist battle. I've just about given up looking for definitive prooftexts, with all the word studies and cultural context studies and theological maundering and such that seems to be required to wrest the real meaning kicking and screaming out of the words, from either side.
And this brings me to the crux of the problem: coming out of the closet.
My motivation for coming out is to be telling the truth about myself. I'm tired of lying. But how do I tell the truth about myself when I can't seem to get a clear picture of what truth even is? If truth is subjective, and if there is no concrete truth, then what is lying? How do you conceal a truth whose very nature is debatable?
What am I supposed to do? Too gay for the pomos, too pomo for the gays, and still struggling to hold on to my faith in the crossfire.
# posted by Liadan @ 6:44 PM 
